Show empathy to improve your health

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It’s likely that at some point in your life, you’ve heard “don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” This commonly used saying is a metaphor for showing empathy, which is the ability to understand the feelings of other people.

Whatever you've been through, it’s obvious that the ability to show empathy makes you a better friend and family member. But, it also impacts your physical and mental health, and your experience with your health care providers.

Empathy defined

According to Merriam-Webster, empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experience of another person. When you show empathy, you’re able to feel what another person might be going through, even if it doesn’t relate to your current circumstances.

How to show empathy

There are many ways to show empathy to those around us. People who are good at showing empathy:

• Really listen to what others have to say by practicing active listening.
• Naturally pick up on how other people feel.
• Are a go-to person for advice.
• Ask others questions about themselves and look for ways they can relate.
• Make eye contact during a conversation.
• Respect the opinions of others, even if they disagree.

Empathy vs. sympathy

Although the words empathy and sympathy may sound similar, they’re two different things. When you sympathize with someone, you can share the feelings that the other person might be going through. Empathy is a little deeper. When you’re empathetic, you can understand the feelings, even if you don’t share them.

Empathy can improve your physical and mental health

While it may seem strange that you can improve your own health by understanding the feelings of others, it’s true. Mental health professionals say that people who have high levels of empathy also have larger social circles and more satisfying relationships.

In addition, researchers say that showing empathy can also contribute to:

• Lower stress levels. The better we regulate our emotions, the more we’re able to relate to other people in positive ways. This ability is known as emotion regulation, which is essential to managing our own stress.
• Less likelihood of workplace burnout. The more we build our empathetic abilities, the better we’re able to handle difficult work situations, communicate and feel better understood by others.
• Greater morality. Empathy helps us create rules around what is considered “acceptable” behavior, and is the foundation for healthy, safe communities that take care of those less fortunate.

When showing empathy becomes too much

Although the ability to show empathy is generally thought to have a positive impact on you and those around you, it can take its toll — especially if you identify as an empath.

The term empath is a relatively new way to describe people who are deeply in touch with the feelings of people around them. These people actually feel emotions as part of their own experience, which means they can take on the happiness and pain of others.

Taking on the emotions of others can get exhausting, eventually leading to what mental health professionals call "compassion fatigue" or "empathy fatigue". If you find yourself feeling this way, it's important to take time to recognize your own emotions. Then, you should invest in some self-care, like eating well, exercising or anything else you might enjoy. Experts also recommend talking about your feelings — whether that be with a trusted friend or through therapy with a medical professional.

Empathy and health care

The ability to feel and express empathy is one thing that can make a doctor outstanding. You know you have an empathetic doctor if they’re compassionate, understanding and aren’t simply trying to get to their next patient.

This can be easier said than done. With the demands of the medical field, it can be easy for doctors and nurses to become task-focused, rather than people-focused. If you feel like your doctor isn't empathetic enough, you have some options:

1. Ask questions. Your care is personal to you, but it may be routine for your provider. Advocate for your own health and feelings by asking your doctor to speak in easy-to-understand terms.
2. Present your symptoms clearly. Laying out all of your symptoms quickly and directly ensures your provider hears everything you have to say and that no symptoms slip through the cracks.
3. Learn about routine screenings. If you're aware of the different screenings patients of your age, gender and race should receive, you may have an easier time discussing health care concerns with your provider.
4. Report your concerns. Many hospitals and doctor’s offices have systems set up to express patient satisfaction. Communicate to that department. You can also leave a review on sites like HealthGrades.com, Vitals.com and RateMDs.com.
5. Finding an empathetic health care provider. If you still don’t feel like your provider is showing enough empathy, it may be time to find a new one or ask for a referral. Choosing a primary care provider (PCP) who's right for you is an important decision because it helps you get the most from your health care. If you’re a Wellmark member, log in to myWellmark to find an in-network provider near you.